Insecurities

Some relationships are just not going to work. I don't know if mine is one of the "some relationships". I hoping to say it isn't, but looking at it right now, I think it is.

My feeling right now is indescribable.
It's too soon to say I love him, but I do. I care about him so much. I think about him all the time.
Where he is, what he's doing, who he's with, how is he feeling.
I just think about though, I don't go up to him and ask him everything.
I care that much.

I still don't know what I should think of him. It seems like he, supposedly, "loves" me. But from my point of view, he loves me but he doesn't actually does anything about it. He loves me but he doesn't care about me. I don't even understand him anymore.

In the beginning, everything was so clear. I can see he liked me a lot.
Now, it's just like there's love between us, but is there really any?

I'm not being selfish or anything, but I really just feel that he doesn't care.
I try my very best to make this relationship work.
Where's his part in this? I don't know. I really really don't know.

----------------------

Do I have to be the one who calls him first?
Do I have to be the one who talks to him first and say hi to him first on facebook chat?
Do I have to talk first?
Do I have to ask him first?

Do I have to be the only one trying?

Mornings

I opened my eyes, yet my body was not awake yet. I pulled my body upward and there I was, sitting on my white sheeted bed so soft, too comfortable. I stood up and enjoyed the morning breeze coming in from the window. The sunlight coming through those big holes, creeping unto my skin. I knew it was a new day. It’s a start for everything new and happy. I felt the cold floor on the tip of my toes. Beautiful little things in the morning that just wakes you up ever so slowly. I never want this to ever end.

Read this while listening to :

Beloved - Yiruma

Quote #2

What's in a word if

that word has lost it's meaning ?

"What's In The Middle" by The Bird and The Bee